Frank was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting.  He traveled up to Alaska , spotted a small brown bear and shot it.
Soon after there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.  The black bear said, “That was a very bad mistake.  [...]

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A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The Wal-Mart greeter said pleasantly, “Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart Nice children you have there. Are they twins?”
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, “Hell no, they ain’t. The oldest [...]

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‘You know what?’ says the 6 year-old.’I think it’s about time we started cussing.’ The 4 Year-olds nods his head in approval.
The 6 year-old continues, ‘When we go downstairs for breakfast, I’m gonna say something with ‘hell’ and you say something with ‘ass.’ The 4 year-old agrees with enthusiasm.
When their mother walks into the kitchen [...]

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 Well, it appears our African-American friends have found yet something else to be pissed about. A black congresswoman, from Florida , has complained that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding names. 
She would prefer some names that reflect African-American culture such as Chamiqua, Tanisha, Woeisha, Shaqueal, and Jamal. I am NOT making this up! 
She [...]

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The New Year’s Eve party had turned into a regular marathon with numerous guests coming and going.
At one point, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily, although no one knew who he was, and was led to the bar in the basement.
He sat there happily for a couple of hours before a strange [...]

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A guy named Brent receives a free ticket to the Rose Bowl on New Year’s Day from his company. Unfortunately, when Brent arrives at the stadium, he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He’s closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field.
About halfway through the first quarter, [...]

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As in many homes on New Year’s Day, my wife and I faced the annual conflict of which was more important: the football games on television or the dinner itself. To keep peace, I ate dinner with the rest of the family and even lingered for some pleasant after dinner conversation before retiring to the [...]

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One of our patients wasn’t taking any chances. Prior to her operation, she taped notes to her body for the surgeon: “Take your time,” “Don’t cut yourself,” “No need to rush,” “Wash your hands.”
After surgery, as I helped the patient back into her bed, we discovered a new note taped to her. It was from [...]

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1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely [...]

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While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip.
When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table and she didn’t miss them until they had been driving about twenty minutes.
By then, to add to [...]

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