A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO. "This is a very sensitive and important document here and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing [...]

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Recently, I called to make reservations on a small charter plane that departs from Teterboro airport in New Jersey.
I knew I would be flying in a very small plane, so I was not surprised when the clerk said, "The plane is very full with baggage and passengers." Then she asked, "How much do you weigh, [...]

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One day, a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway near Chicago. When he turned onto the street at the end of the ramp, he noticed someone at a chicken place getting into his car. The driver placed the bucket of chicken on top of his car, got in and drove off with the bucket [...]

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… so Payton Manning doesn’t..

Peyton Manning United Way
Uploaded by darkblueworld

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A Texas cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No", he replies, "I just got this state-of the-art watch, and
I was just testing it.
The [...]

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Today is International Disadvantaged People’s Day! 
Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend….just as I’ve done.  I don’t care if you lick windows, screw farm animals, take the short bus or occasionally crap yourself…..You hang in there sunshine, you’re damn special!

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Church-Compilation
Uploaded by darkblueworld

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"Look at this mess!" roared an angry customer at a local cafe, pointing to his squashed doughnut.
"It’s just as you ordered it, sir," the waitress replied meekly. "You told me to bring you coffee and a doughnut and step on it."

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I had purchased a talking metronome while I was attending a conference in New York for music teachers. Before my son and I boarded our flight home, I hefted my carry-on bag onto the security check conveyor belt. The guard’s eyes widened as he watched the monitor. He asked what I had in the bag, [...]

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